*C.L. Beck, author*: post office

Speaking of the US post office ... oh, yes, we were ... earlier today, in my tale of woe entitled, Postal Disconnect. It is seriously funny.

I'm sure either "seriously funny" is an oxymoron, or I'm the moron for using it. Not sure which.

So, today a loud knock resounded at the door, causing me to jump up from a ~~sound sleep~~ moment of prayer/meditation on the couch, and to stagger to the door. Thinking I would see our postal worker with a package, I flung it open.

No one there.

Not unless you count that flat, padded envelope lying on the porch. But, a white FedEx vehicle sped away, making me think the US Postal Service should take a cue from them. Not by speeding down the street, but by having big white vans instead of those weird-shaped Jeepy things that make the postal worker look like he's on safari.

There is a point here. I'm just approaching it with caution in my post-~~nap~~ meditative haziness.

Now, what was that point? Ahhhh, yes, I think I have it. It's what was in the package at the door.

Taa, taa, taa, daaa! (Tiny trumpets herald in the distance.) In the envelope at my feet was a Kroger gift card. And that means it's time for another ...

Kroger Gift Card Giveaway!

What Kroger Says

Shop the Kroger Co. Family of Stores biggest-ever promotion and find the hottest prices around on more than 35 brands, across more than 60 categories from General Mills, P & G, Pepsi, Nestle, Kraft and Kroger Banner Brands. During the Cart Buster Savings Event, you’ll find great savings in almost every department at the Kroger Family of Stores which includes Kroger, Ralphs, King Scoopers, City Market, Dillons, Smith´s, Fry´s, QFC, Baker´s, Owen´s, Jay C Food Stores, Hilander, Gerbes, Food4Less, Fred Meyer, Pay Less Supermarkets and Scott´s Food & Pharmacy.

Check your local store to confirm the exact dates for your Cart Buster Savings Event. Here are just a handful of the great brands participating in the event: Cheerios, Lucky Charms, Pillsbury, Betty Crocker, Hamburger Helper, Yoplait, Progresso, Totino’s, Green Giant, Pampers, Tide, Old Spice and much more.

Looking for even more ways to save time and money? Visit CartBuster.com beginning 2/26/12 to find money-savings digital coupons, shopping lists and more. And starting 2/29/12 you can participate in the “Deal of the Day”!

How does the Deal of the Day work? During seven days of the Cart Buster Savings Event, 2/29/12 - 3/6/12, there will be a super hot, exclusive offer good on one participating Cart Buster item. Each offer will be exclusive and available for one-day only – but the offer will be good for the duration of the entire event.

You’ll see savings of up to and over 50% with the Deal of the Day offers – maybe even some freebies - and that’s on top of the already-low, low prices that Cart Buster has to offer!

Look for seven days of “Deal of the Day offers” beginning 2/29/12. The Last Deal of the Day offer will be up on 3/6/12. But don’t fret - the Cart Buster event will continue even after the Deal of the Day ends. Check your local store for the exact end date for the Cart Buster Savings Event.

(Note from Cindy: Check out the new sidebar widget for the hot "Deal of the Day!")

Kroger Links
Cart Buster Website
Kroger Facebook Page
Kroger Twitter Page

Giveaway Rules for Kroger $25 Gift Card
Runs from Mar 1 to midnight, MT, Mar 12, 2012.

For one entry: Leave a comment on this blog article. If you can't think of anything to say, share which brands you might buy if you win, or tell me which Kroger store you like to shop at.

For one additional entry (making a total of 2): Go out and "Like" Kroger's Facebook Page. It's not necessary to leave a comment there, but you do need to click a "Like" button, and it is necessary to return here and leave a comment to let me know that you've done it.

If I don't already have your address, please leave your email or Twitter address so I can contact you. The winner will be announced the week of March 12.

(Thanks for entering! Disclosure: The Kroger gift card, information, and giveaway have all been provided by the Kroger Family of Stores and General Mills/Nestle/Proctor & Gamble/Pepsi/Kraft through MyBlogSpark.However, my opinions of the event, of the companies involved, or the quality of the products mentioned are my own. If for some reason there is no winner, or I can not get in contact with the winner, I will redraw or give the prize to charity, at MyBlogSpark's and my discretion.)
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"Kroger Gift Card Giveaway, March 2012" © C.L. (Cindy Lynn) Beck
Tags: Kroger, giveaway, gift card, post office

A Tale of Woe about the US Post Office

Photo © Fugue

I called the post office recently and instead of hearing the sweet voice of Paula, the Postal Lady, I heard a recording. "We're sorry. You've reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you've reached this number in error, please check the number and try again."

What?

I dialed it again, and the same voice answered. I'd say it was an unfamiliar voice, but since it was the Official Telephone Lady that I'd heard a plethora of times before--when I dialed other disconnected numbers--it wasn't entirely foreign to me.

Although, she does have this foreign sound when she tries to say words that robots can't pronounce. I once asked her to repeat, "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers," so that I could laugh at someone without feeling unkind, and she gave an angry beep in my ear, instead.

But ... back to the recording. It was a shock, because I didn't expect to hear Official Telephone Lady pick up the phone at the US Post Office.

A day or two later--I'd tell you exactly how much later but word problems are not my strong point, and I'd need my calculator to figure out what 2 days x 60 minutes/hour equals if one train leaves from Boston, the other leaves from San Francisco, and they meet in Kansas City.

So ... an indeterminate amount of time later when I needed to mail a letter, I intentionally walked the 30 extra steps to go into the post office rather than stuff my letter into the box outside.

I'm certain my face reflected concern, anxiety, and a fear of flying monkeys as I asked at the desk, "Is your number disconnected?"

"Yes," said Paula, the Postal Lady, nodding. "If you want to call the post office for information, you'll need to dial the 800 number."

I wrinkled my nose in disappointment. "So ... I can't call you and talk with someone in this USPS office?"

"No, I'm sorry. We can call out, but you can't call in."

I thought about it all the way home. What has the world come to, when I can't dial my local post office for information on how to go postal?

If I called the 800 number it would, no doubt, connect to a thatched hut in Uganda that had a wooden sign on the front reading, "US Postal Service Call Center." Inside would sit a little wrinkled bushman, his loins girded about with the hide of a leopard, who speaks broken English. (The bushman, not the dead leopard.) And if I were to ask what time the mail goes out, he would explain how to lick the back of the self-adhesive stamp.

Well, it's certainly disconcerting, that's all I can say. And to loosely quote a line I once heard on the Fraser show--

Kroger Gift Card Giveaway, March 2012 ... by C.L. Beck

Kroger Gift Card Giveaway!

Postal Disconnect ... by C.L. Beck

"You can put kittens in the oven ...

... but that sure don't make 'em biscuits!"

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